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Definition: Gear Head (noun) from the Latin Gera Hedi meaning more money than brains.

1) someone who buys gear at an alarming rate.

2) A disease inflecting one out of five musicians. The affliction has no known cure.

Read the following. If you laugh at more the three of them because they remind you of yourself, you are a lost cause. Check yourself in at the nearest Sam Ash store and cut up your credit cards.

If you have even pawned your girl friend’s engagement ring to buy a microphone - you might be a gear head.

If you consider “Blow Out” sales at Guitar Center a national holiday - you might be a gear head or the President of Guitar Center.

If the words Gibson, Fender, or PRS appear anywhere in your wedding vows - you might be a gear head.

If you think an 80's B.C. Rich “graphics” guitar is a collector’s item - you might be a gear head.

If your basement floods and destroys more than 16 guitars - you might be a gear head.

If you have to install more electrical circuits in your home just to plug in your guitar pedals - you might be a gear head.

If you name your kid Taylor Gibson Fender and your last name isn't even Fender, you might be a gear head.

If your wife refuses to have sex with you until you clear your guitars off the bed . . . and you have to stop and think about it - you might be a gearhead.

If you have ever opened up a guitar case and said, “I didn’t know I owned this . . .” - you might be a gear head or the guitarist in my last band. (true story)

If you consider a tour of the PRS factory a holy pilgrimage - you might be a gear head.

If you know every model name and number or every Gibson ever made, but have trouble remembering your kids’ names - you might be a gear head.

If you have a Shark Inlay custom artwork design on the inside of your control cavity - you might be a gear head. By the way, those are available :-)

If you think a different pickup in the neck position of a Fender Stratocaster makes it a collector guitar worth $2,500 - you might be a gear head or the president of Fender.


If you have more than two effect pedals in your rig that you can’t remember what they do - you might be a gear head.

If the Doctor x-rays you stomach and finds more that four guitar picks - you might be a gear head.

If you skip you’re Father’s funeral so you can be there for the end of an eBay auction - you might be a gear head.

If at an open mic jam you guard your guitar while your girlfriend is necking with a member of a biker gang - you might be a gear head.

If your band needs two vans, one for your gear and one for everything else’s - you might be a gear head.

If you change guitars more than three times a set just because you can - you might be a gear head or the guitarist from my last band.

If your drummer’s roadie thinks he has got the easy job - you might be a gear head.

If you own more than five Stratocasters because each has that “unique sound” - you might be a gear head.

If you own two exactly the same guitars except for the color - you might be a gear head.

If you think you can hear the difference in your guitar between a Roseword truss rod cover and an Ebony one - you might be a gear head.

If the date of the NAMM show has religious significance for you - you might be a gear head.

If you have ever kicked out the singer of your band to make room on stage for another amp - you might be a gear head. Kicking your singer out for being a pain in the ass is normal behavior however.

If you change your strings more than you change your socks - you might be a gear head.

If your buddy invites you to a bar where they have lots of G-strings and all you think about is music - you might be a gear head.

If you have been a subscriber to Guitar Magazine for five years and are just now realizing that there are articles next to those pictures - you might be a gear head.

If you are invited to the Fender stock holders board meeting, but you don’t own any Fender stock - you might be a gear head.

If you have ever moved because you need more room for your amps - you might be a gear head.

If after watching a MTV Video you can identify every piece of gear on the stage, but can’t remember the name of the song - you might be a gear head.

If you think a 60's Gibson Les Paul makes an elegant living room decoration - you might be a gear head.

If you are using more than two amps as end tables in your family room - you might be a gear head. This one is me.

If you have ever used the phrase "Wammy Bar" while in bed with you girlfriend/wife - you might be gear head. Or in the bathroom by yourself for that matter.

If you're woman asks your thoughts on her new "G" string, and you tell her it'll be fine once it stretches a bit - You might be a gear head.

You hide guitars at the cute, blond, neighbors house and visit it often because you're afraid of what your wife might do if you brought it home.

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